When Life Just Gets Too Importoise

When Life Gets Too Importoise

I don’t get it, I just looked at my Friday Lights and 2 weeks ago my last piece received more readers than any one this year and breaking a new 2016 record. Doesn’t add up, as I wrote it fast, it was pretty much unedited, and I was totally unable to think why I was writing and what for. So I continue then to do exactly that!


Of course nothing ever touches; nowhere near even, the most read Friday Light of all time that many said was the most powerful piece of writing they have ever read. It never had a title or a photo, was simply labelled Friday Light 310114. Nothing has ever touched how many people read that one. It’s here, sometimes when I feel life is a pain, I re-read this and then I see what’s important. Don’t read it yet, finish this one, first!


In the mean time the more silly and spontaneous the content is that I produce, curiously the more I seem to attract favour. Now who on Earth would have thought that a pet tortoise would have been major news and the biggest concern? But honestly, at the World Chocolate Forum conference two weeks ago, more people asked me about loosing our pet tortoise in the garden than about the business of chocolate. She was a dear little baby tortoise too and still I have a big place in my heart for her. But the family pet tortoise we feel now, may never be fond; it’s almost over. It’s importoise though! (deliberate invention of the word).


My son cries it taking it well. You know in a big family where the kids are all looking hard to carve out their individualism and character and be different from their siblings. Well George had nothing, that is, until he had his pet, his thing, his speciality, a creature that he lovingly fed, cleaned, stroked and spoke with. And then that dreaded day, Friday Lighters when ‘Belle’ the baby tortoise vanished. I searched for 5 days on every weekend I had, on my knees all over the flipping garden. I weeded every weed, rooted every bramble. My hands are thick with callouses and thorns, it was non-stop, not even time to be sensible and come in to drink and have a cuppa or get gardening gloves (no I’ll find the tortoise) – insane right!


It’s now been 4 weeks since we lost this little pet, I have asked neighbours, combed every blade of grass, moved all the rocks, walls; I have searched absolutely everywhere but now I am about to give up. So many of you asked about the little tortoise now that I have to write about her again! My 9-year-old son is preparing to make a memorial by painting a plate with a picture of her on it and laying it in the garden. But this week when we embarked on the project, he started to cry over a blank piece of paper and pencil in his hand. I can’t give up! We all know she will die soon.


So I have one last idea and importoise one too, (sorry I quite like that word now). I am going to ask the local police if they wouldn’t mind awfully to bring an enthusiastic sniffer dog for a bit of practice. Come on! They rescue ducks from drains, surely they can at least bring a handsome German Shepherd for a sniff-about around our garden. That would be much to the delight of our little sausage dog who, I am sure would instantly fall in love with a well-mannered and fine Alsatian! So double whammy, we all win.


We find the tortoise, which is reunited with my son and we have a doggy crush fit for a marriage made in canine heaven. So that’s what I am going to do! I leave you now with a positive thought for the end of a tough week as I too have to have a happy ending!


Yours importoisely… ouch (three times I used the word sorry) it’s spinning in my head.

Don’t ever give up the hunt, no matter what you are looking for, as who knows what else you might find while searching for something else.


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