At what point exactly do we decide we are a success?
When I was younger I used to think success was a fast car, a perfect girlfriend or high grades at college, and when I didn’t achieve in getting these things, I then thought it was because I wasn’t a manager at work with a fine cut suit or because I couldn’t afford the new kitchen extension. When I either did or didn’t achieve these things (it didn’t really seem to register), I immersed myself in other pointless tasks that I believed would make me feel ‘successful’; normally things that industry wanted me to have or to be. I never thought about wanting what I had instead of having what I wanted. I never realized that what I wanted was to be exactly not what everyone else wanted me to be!
Never works does it? I will only be happy if I loose ten pounds. So what if we don’t loose the weight? Have we just made the decision to be unhappy for the rest of our lives?
We always need to look better, be thinner, stronger, taller, braver, tougher, healthier, smarter, butnever the weaker, less attractive, larger, poorer, less intelligent, less active even. Is it any wonder that no one thinks they are successful? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you will only be happy if you just spend more, work harder, eat this, think less, have that, all those things will make you happy as long as you don’t relax, think, do nothing, reflect, and above all – be yourselves. I wonder how many of us know who we really are.
It took me so long to see that success for me was to discover happiness within myself that I could draw upon when I saw other people who were successful. And then it took even longer to see that success is the discovering of our fine personality through not just our own success, but also equally through our continuous acts of non-achievements. The discovery of personality is success, and it normally takes many hard failures to find our personality. In effect then, more we fail, the more we learn about ourselves and see that our journey of self-discovery is the success we couldn’t find.
So if you are a driven person (I am taming my ego finally by the way); and if you are impossibly ambitious, then you may never call yourself a success because, as soon as you have achieved your goal, you will then go and seek another task to be successful with; as the last success suddenly wasn’t successful enough!
It works the other way too. Those that worry about something may find it’s curiously gone one day and they immediately set it upon themselves to find something else to worry about! And at that point only they are strangely satisfied. Oh my, Friday Lighters, we humans are the most complicated of creatures. We don’t half get it wrong sometimes. But perhaps the worrier needs to worry to discover their fine personality; once discovered, the curse is lifted; their journey is fulfilled. It’s all meant to be.
I could say that those of us who don’t succeed in anything then are the most successful as they have discovered the ability to be happy with a form of un-success. Success is the inherent ability to be happy with anything that life throws at you especially the things we consider unsuccessful.
Different things make us happy, so we think. But they don’t. We give a situation happiness. For example, going sky diving will the best day of someone’s life or the worst for someone else. Success for me has to be the ability to be happy with anything that I consider to be unsuccessful, fearful, boring or pointless. I must smile and relish in disasters and non-achievements of which my life has had many countless thousands. I could have been smiling every minute of my life if only I had learned that earlier! But it’s never too late. That’s the point of life.
We are the problem as we are the ones that see things as problems. There will always be an idiot that is quite willing to turn a solution into a problem!
This week I was filming with the BBC (about Easter eggs). Next week I am on BBC radio Kent (listen out next Monday morning at 7.20 am OK!) and then the month after that I have been invited to film in Washington! Now, had all these things happened ten years ago I would have claimed I was a massive success?
I lay down last night thinking at what point am I successful then? I saw that I haven’t allowed myself to be successful because I didn’t call myself a success! When do I say ‘hey Angus you flipping did it!’ Ambition is a curse. But God will sentence us to our greatest pleasures.
But then we are all on a mission of some sort and surely then success is the ability to find what our mission in life is. Our only failure (there is no such thing by the way) would be not to realize our true gifts.
And I thought ‘well yes, happiness for me ultimately is the creation of happiness for those around me.’ Happiness is embracing my imperfections as gifts to learn from. Happiness is loving what I am doing now regardless of money, fame or outside thought.
Happiness is to share your weaknesses before you show your strengths and to find the strength to finally love everything about yourself, one of the reasons why we are all here! To love everything, the whole.
Off we go for another fine Friday. Keep repeating in your mind as I will today. I am a success, I am still alive and I can still make people happy. It’s never too late. Do it before tomorrow, as tomorrow may never come.
Yours with outstanding self-certified imperfection.